Fighting the Battle

In the last three major elections (2004, 2006, and 2008) anti-gay referendums, initiatives, and constitutional amendments have passed in every state where they were introduced – barring Arizona in 2006 – only to be reversed in 2008. Even the Democrat and Obama victory of the 2008 season was overshadowed in the GLBT community by the passing of Florida’s constitutional amendment banning gay marriage, Arizona’s reversal, Arkansas’s ban on gay adoptions, and most notably, the passage of Prop 8 in California taking away gay marriage by a narrowly passed constitutional amendment (among other losses).

However, in the past week, we have seen an almost shocking shift in the gay marriage war. The Iowa Supreme Court overturned a state statute defining marriage as one man and one woman, effectively granting gay marriage in Iowa (shocking!). And then yesterday, we had the Vermont legislature override a governor veto to change their civil unions into full blown gay marriage - making Vermont the 4th state the legalize gay marriage, and the only one to accomplish it through legislative means. It’s been an incredible week for gay rights champions – one that began 40 years ago with the Stonewall riots in NYC.

Being a gay man, it’s been a constant struggle to try and change minds, convince other people, and fight for the rights that my “straight” counterparts can enjoy. Growing up in a staunchly conservative area of the country (Nashville, TN), I have experienced discrimination from an early age, and know all to well the bigotry many people in our country still have. I have made it a large part of my life to fight for the equal rights I believe I deserve – and not just a different right, not a civil union, not a domestic partnership – the equality of marriage to the person I love.

I feel so very fortunate to be involved in many of my friends’ weddings, particularly in their wedding parties. I feel so honored to have been asked to be a part of Sarah and Zack’s wedding as one of Zack’s best men. It’s going to be an incredible moment to see my best friend get married to the love of his life, a woman I have come to love and respect as well. I only wish that more people felt the way Sarah and Zack did about equal rights for all – I only hope that one day the opportunity to share the vows Sarah and Zack will make, that I will get to make those same vows with the love of my life, in front of the people I hold near and dear to my heart.

The gay marriage war is fought, not within my community, but within the straight community. It takes the brave words and actions of the allies of the GLBT community to change minds, end hatred and bigotry, and help accomplish the goal of equal rights for all. I want to give a personal thanks to Sarah and all of my other friends and allies out there to help all GLBT individuals gain the equal rights our community deserves. I know that one day in my lifetime, I will see be able to appreciate full FEDERAL equal rights, I just hope that day comes sooner rather than later...and this past week gives me hope it might just happen.